OFFENSE, KEEPING SCORE?

Studying unforgiveness makes it very clear just how destructive offense is.  Luke 6:43 tells us that you know a tree by its fruit.  If you search Scriptures for the fruit of offense you will find some pretty rotten apples.  Lucifer becomes offended with God for not sharing His position, authority, and glory and allows pride and rebellion to get him cast out of heaven, becoming Satan.  Cain becomes offended when God favors Abel’s offering over his own.  He murders his brother.  Esau gets offended when Jacob steals his birthright and drives him out of his homeland.   These are all found in the first book of the Bible, Genesis.  Offenses continue to be recorded throughout the rest of Scripture and every time it is mentioned there is bad fruit that follows.

Here are some ways to deal with offense:

1)     REALIZE THAT EVERYONE WILL DEAL WITH OFFENSE

In Luke 17:1 Jesus says, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!”   This means that no matter which local church you attend, it is only a matter of time until you will be offended in some way.  You will find that most of the people that God uses greatly have been hurt deeply.  Both Joyce Meyer and Christine Caine were sexually abused by their fathers or others.  Andrew Wommack was ostracized, isolated, rejected, and bullied as he served in the Army as a young man in his 20s.  James Robison was born to a woman who was raped and had a dysfunctional, alcoholic father.  And the list goes on……  Fortunately, these men and women of God had dramatic encounters with God who healed their hearts and allowed them to climb higher than their wounds.

2)     REMAIN IN JERICHO UNTIL YOU ARE HEALED

In II Samuel 10 David sends ambassadors to the Ammonites to show sympathy to the son of Hanun whose father had died.  Hanun took offense with David at the urging of his commanders and instead of receiving them graciously, he had their beards half-way cut off and their robes cut off to expose their backsides.  In that day and age, it was humiliating to have your beard cut off.  David told his men to “stay at Jericho until your beards grow out, and then come back.”   The name “Jericho” means “sweet fragrance”.  David’s men are angry, bitter, and offended.  David is spiritually discerning and mature and wisely tells them that until their spirit is putting off a sweet fragrance once again, stay in Jericho.

A ministry friend of ours from Africa gave me one of his messages on CD a few years ago that he titled, “Too Wounded to Lead”.  God wants us to exercise our gifts to the world and the body of Christ.  Yet He knows the dangers of wounded warriors ministering to others.  Moses’ biggest internal enemy was his problem with anger.  As a young man, when he saw an Egyptian abusing an Israelite his anger flared up and he killed him.  When he came off of Mt. Sinai with the Ten Commandment tablets in hand and saw the backsliding of the children of Israel he threw them on the rocks and broke them.  When he came to the end of the wilderness journey and the Israelites yet again tried his patience by complaining of having no water Moses struck the rock after God told him to speak to it to bring forth water.   This last display of anger cost Moses the benefit of crossing the Jordan River and physically entering the Promised Land. 

Offenses will plant a root of bitterness in us that will produce rotten fruit in our lives.   This fruit will be evident by those who taste our giftings which are mixed with a heart that isn’t sweet but contains bitterness. 

3)    DON’T AVENGE YOURSELF

When we are offended it is not time to quit serving God or to retreat or put ourselves on a shelf.  Let God make those decisions in your life.  It is time to stay in Jericho until we know have a “right spirit” once again.   (Psalm 51:10-12)  No one wants to be around people who are always rehearsing their past wounds of an abusive spouse, parent, or boss.  This should be confessed if we are a part of the solution for them, but if it is just an eruption from a heart full of bitterness and unforgiveness it will only serve to spread the offense into others.  Christianity is real when people can take a bite of our giftings and it brings a sweet taste in their mouth. 

Forgiveness isn’t amnesia.  It is not that you forget what happened to you, but it is remembering it differently.  You remember it through the filter of the cross and the heart of Jesus.  We need to ask ourselves, “Do I look like what I’ve been through?”  Interestingly, Jericho is the place where God told the Israelites to march around it in silence for six days and then on the seventh day to blow the trumpet and let out a shout.  God was giving them time to restore peace in their hearts.  Once they did, they let out a shout and trumpet blast of praise to God, and the Lord fought for them.  The walls came tumbling down and the enemy was defeated.  When you linger at Jericho until sweetness is established God will avenge you.  He knows what to do on your behalf.

When Peter asked Jesus, “How many times should I forgive others”, the reply of Jesus was “Seventy times seven”.  What He was saying to Peter was, “You need to stop keeping count”.   It is not about keeping score, it is about losing count.